PROJECTS
Poetry Is That Sharp
Poetry Is That Sharp
Poetry Is That Sharp
Tál started writing creatively at eight years old, but only recently declared herself a writer. A reclusive polymath, Poetry Is That Sharp is a 100-page, coming out Poème introducing the themes in her work. Co-illustrated with mixed media images generated by various AI-art programs and iterated upon by her human eye.
Still Life
Poetry Is That Sharp
Poetry Is That Sharp
What skills of honesty, compromise, and fortitude keep people together and what constellation of events, denial, and neglect would break them? Tál Caritas and husband Mark Albrecht share poignant lessons from their uncommon love story, articulating what it means to love in the now as they separate after decades.
Lies in the Wake
Poetry Is That Sharp
Lies in the Wake
A semi-autobiographical account of Caritas' early sexual experiences and stirrings from her polyamorist philosophy. Everyone is flummoxed by Anya Soleri's ideas about love. She would almost be convincing as an enlightened feminist were it not for an elusive shadow side that adeptly defends yet deludes her.
POETRY IS THAT SHARP
Excerpts
At least you have your poetry, I was assured,
as if it were some fire-retardant suit
that would protect me from all the flames
around me, the flames of desire & ruin, as if poetry,
with its unassuming, introverted, quiet beginnings,
would keep me from living out loud
my questions, inclinations, & addictions, as if
that small, bound journal in my pocket
could become a powerful amulet
when broken out to keep temptation at bay, forces
that would seduce & betray,
dress me down & attempt to destroy me.
....
Poetry is that sharp
insight articulated, a pierce of oxygen after a cold
realization, a i r
that fans flames which can forge one’s mettle
in brave, new directions.
….
The pen is truly mightier than the sword.
It is a powerful match
made
in an unrepentant sinner’s purgatory, struck
to ignite a stockpile of powder kegs
upon which the names of
what I am
to b l o w o p e n
are written.
STILL LIFE
Introduction
Tál Caritas and Mark Albrecht sought help from therapists early in their marriage for individual and couples counseling which armed them to face and withstand challenges most relationships would not dare cross or survive. They helped each other work through issues from past childhood trauma, betrayals of the heart, instances of unemployment, loss of pregnancies, an open marriage – but none of these extenuating circumstances or personal choices were what brought their house down.
After decades of marriage, they decided to begin a formal process of separation, and are nobly in a place of forgiveness, compassion, and acceptance. This was hard-earned. They write about this unfolding and their discoveries, how they both inadvertently kept each other from realizing important personal goals, which unlocked for them only after they ended the marriage. They share their lessons of self-understanding. They articulate what it means to love in the now, forgiving, and letting go of each other while knowing the end of their future as a married couple is closing. The gray divorce presents uncertainties neither wishes to face, but undoubtedly brings a loss necessary to advance their personal growth and generate new possibilities for how the relationship might unfold from there.
Change is the only constant and we all must learn how to adapt each and every time we are faced with it. Even times when change comes not from unpredictable storms outside, but from within the core of our selves, we must firmly answer that call to our higher souls' purpose in life, to cleave ourselves from unhealthy or stagnant patterns, and birth ourselves anew. As Barack Obama once said, "Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." We have to hold ourselves 100% accountable for the situations we find ourselves in, and once we do, we will feel empowered to change our lives for the better.
This book started out as thought exercises to help Caritas and Albrecht sort out feelings around their final transition apart from each other. A still-life is a work of art which tells a story through symbolic objects, using space for creative experimentation to explore an immediate world. Still Life tells this couple's story as a snapshot of their transition period. Hopefully it can help others who are going through similar life events, maybe save their relationships earlier. If not, the stories and messages in this book are for people wondering how they will survive the unknown if they decide to separate or divorce late in life. Know that you will be okay. You are not alone.
LIES IN THE WAKE | EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER ONE
Web of Cute
Finn had hoped the baby was his when Anya called to tell him she was pregnant. She couldn’t say for certain who the father was, only, "Every child of the universe deserves to be loved." It didn't matter to her whether it belonged to Finn, Mark, or Dom. Dom. No-one wanted the baby to be from that jerk-ass Dom. Dom the rugby asshole, Dom the potential serial-killer. What was Anya thinking dating that guy? Something Finn and Mark agreed on. That was four years ago.
Today, Finn is visiting Anya whose family now has two toddlers, Daven and Isa, four and three. The little ones were dressed in stylish, casual outfits for pre-school, building a city out of wooden blocks and cardboard boxes in the living room. They could do this for hours, but the fun ends when Anya tells them to put their shoes on. Finn watches from the kitchen, finishing his tea while leaning on the counter. He stayed the night after traveling, as he often does since the Albrechts live ten minutes from the airport, and it's a long drive back to his house in Orinda when he flies in late. Finn will marry and have several children of his own years down the road, but today, he is in between girlfriends, staring at Anya, a woman he still believes on some level is his soulmate. Resolved, Finn starts,
“I could never have given this to you.” He points to the kids then Anya with his cup and moves it in a big circle to include the open concept home, the Ragdoll and Abyssinian cats with their bejeweled collars thwaping their tails on the Tibetan rugs. “You're living in a world of cute, Anya." He squints his eyes at her, smiles, nods with approval, but with a tinge of envy. "Kudos to Mark for being the bigger man with the bigger heart who allowed you to be with me. And-and-and .. date other people! Honestly, I don’t know how he does it. It would have wrung my guts out to share you. I never would have allowed it." He moves a little closer to speak in hushed tones, as the kids nearby looking for their shoes in a basket. He turns his back to the kids to face Anya. "How are you okay with him being with other women? This can't be sustainable. I just .. just why .." interrupting himself to take a breath before continuing, "I still don’t get it. I mean, why be married?"
...
Daven and Isa are giggling as they race to put their feet in their shoes. Finn watches Anya put the last of the breakfast plates in the dishwasher and close the door, even though he still is hanging onto his cup. He knows she likes to hand-wash the tea cups. "I know, I know. You’ve said it’s about the," Finn makes a single air quote with his free hand, "commitment to each other." Anya hangs an art- printed dishtowel on the stove-door handle, nodding as she listens to him take another exasperated breath and continue to speak quietly, "Well, I know you decided, and it's your life, and what can I say. Mark just won." Finn takes his last sip of tea, looks at her wedding ring, her fingers that used to trace his lips, her hand that used to clutch his cock while giving him a blow job in the woods. He remembers looking down at that ring while she sucked him, thinking, "Cuckold bastard." But, that fucking bastard took the love of his life. He had hoped to win her over, but the years continue to pass and now he is the one on the outside, not Mark. He wonders whether he was always on the out and maybe never really had a chance with her.
“Oh please! Like I’m some prize. I’m a total wrecking ball. Also, Mark didn't allow anything. We simply reverted to our original terms of the marriage when circumstances changed.” She's talking about when the betrayals happened. Finn's trying to remember her story, but he has a bad memory. Anya grabs the car keys from the raku ceramic bowl she and Mark bought from the San Diego Potters Guild back when they were dating. It split in half during their move to San Francisco, but it was a clean break, repaired with a strong epoxy, the crack only noticeable if one knew it was there, and only Mark and Anya know how it broke. The key ring is attached to a small, black leather, picture frame charm by Coach New York. The snap enclosure holds a professionally shot, black and white photo of Mark on one side and another tasteful black and white photo of Daven and Isa on the other side. She rubs the frame charm like a worry stone before tucking the keys into the satin-lined pocket of her trench coat. As the kids are zipping up their lunchboxes, she motions for Finn's cup to hand-wash in the sink later, gestures a smile, careful not to cast a look he would find seductive, but it doesn’t work. He wants to kiss her.
This wasn't the first time they've had this discussion. Finn thinks he ends it this time, “Besides, I wouldn’t call what we had a relationship anyway. It was basically one long break -- " until Anya interrupts and closes it as they all head out the door, "Yeah, well you're a liar!”
"Liar! Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Daven makes Isa laugh while he chants and dances out to the driveway. This makes Finn shake his head and smile. Anya scoops Daven up which makes him squeal with delight, but then he wriggles free to put his hands on the back door handle of the burgundy X-5, and looks back at his mother to unlock it. He wants to open the door by himself. Anya clicks the button on the key fob and now Isa is throwing her arms up to be swooped away too.
"Yep! A worldwide web of cute!" Finn hooks Isa in his arm to open the door with his his free one. Isa studies the stubble on Finn and taps his jaw while he snaps her into her car-seat.
"Web of cute!" Daven parrots as he threads his arms through the straps to buckle himself in. Anya has put her briefcase in the car and is waiting by her open door to say good-bye to Finn. He passes Isa the sipper-cup from her lunchbox and taps her belly, kisses her on the forehead, "Until next time, kiddo!" Anya never considered him the type to have kids, which was one of the main reasons she could not see a future with him. Daven takes his sipper-cup from his lunchbox as Finn shuts the door. After a bittersweet hug and parting wave, Finn watches the Albrechts pull out before walking to his Camry on the curb under the pepper tree. The street was lined with pepper and palm trees in the greenbelt. California. Even in the suburbs, there's no continuity, everything a facade. Not like back home in Boston where trees belong and people show you who they are. They're not fake. If they don't like you, they won't even look at you.
Liar? Damn Anya and her rules about lying and secrets. He forgot how she could slice through you like a Samurai, cut to your soul with her words, her brutal honesty. During the short time the two were together, he felt being married to her would have been the death of him. This web of cute puts his thoughts in another spin. Did he lie? Finn was trying to remember. Mark was the one who betrayed her with his city-dump pile of dirty secrets and Finn was hoping to capitalize on that rift between them. Mark was the liar. What was she talking about?
