PROJECTS | EXPECTED COMPLETION 2024
Still Life
Lies in the Wake
Lies in the Wake
What skills of honesty, compromise, and fortitude keep people together and what constellation of events, denial, and neglect would break them? Tál Caritas and husband Mark Albrecht share poignant lessons from their uncommon love story, articulating what it means to love in the now as they separate after decades.
Lies in the Wake
Lies in the Wake
Lies in the Wake
A semi-autobiographical account of Caritas' early sexual experiences and stirrings from her polyamorist philosophy. Everyone is flummoxed by Anya Soleri's ideas about love. She would almost be convincing as an enlightened feminist were it not for an innermost shadow side that adeptly defends yet deceives and deludes her.
EXCERPTS FROM POEMS IN BODY OF MY OCEAN
Morning in June
Who wouldn’t want all that
simple leaning into one another, all those
respite poses after soulful fusion, jazz,
after undulating the night & blowing out
the milky stream of stars through the steamy rise
of a Southern summer’s febrile moon?
She was barely draped in morning dew, a New
Orleans flower, a dream sprawled out
upon the light linen sheets like a quarter-
note resting, her golden ring
of music, still a halo, still a back-lit haze.
Poetry Is That Sharp
Poetry is that sharp
insight articulated, a pierce of oxygen after a cold
realization, a i r
that fans flames which can forge one’s mettle
in brave, new directions.
….
The pen is truly mightier than the sword.
It is a powerful match
made
in an unrepentant sinner’s purgatory, struck
to ignite a stockpile of powder kegs
upon which the names of what I am to b l o w o p e n
are written.
Proof
This shot was taken before
your next child died, before
the years of dad’s wrath, before
the cut of his threats, before
his knife held you
against the refrigerator, before
he cocked his gun
at your scarred throat, before
his hands scattered your young
into the corners of their rooms,
corners of the world, before
all your crying nights, you loved me.
I’m holding proof.
Siamese Basil
The sun holds you under arrest. Its late
afternoon light casts a refracted prism
across your face through bent blinds
at the Siamese Basil restaurant on Highway 101.
You wince in these prison beams of captivity,
wipe your brow with your sleeve, whilst I sit
coolly across from you like a detective, but really
more like a devotee in the shadows, in quiet worship.
I Do
You break my words from the sky
like a porcelain plate, smite them onto the floor
& start a fight. Have we not had this argument before?
Did we not reach our higher, middle ground? Did we not lie
already in Rumi’s field of wrong
& right-doing? Did we not teach ourselves in that valley
between countries where borders are unfounded & unchecked,
far from society’s high ways, from their roads most traveled?
Prayer
Lilit
little light,
folly & laughter in my life
who left me unrequited,
i am as empty, flat, & pale blue
as these departed sheets
without you.
i just never knew how hungry i was until
you fed me & i took you
hand to mouth.
treasure of shells
i saw you collapse on the sand, your soft, full belly bouncing
with laughter & delight at the surprise of seeing your father
tossing your smiling mother into the crashing waves. your giggle
muffled when i went under, submerged in an ocean of
happiness where nothing else mattered, born again.
Divine Love
My love for you is forever-lasting
& l i m i t l e s s
as my oceans. Know
that you have always been loved. Bask
in the knowledge that you are protected & that
I will always come to your defense. Love yourself
as I deeply do you.
I am within you. You are made of my element,
my bodies of water, the salt from my tears,
the bitter & sweetness of life.
Embrace the whole of yourself, including the shades
you discover in the dark
recesses, the mysterious caverns in your mind,
for it is also within, wherein lies your intense power,
your fiery ways & wings of desire,
even the great tranquility & calm.
STILL LIFE |
Introduction
Tál Caritas and Mark Albrecht sought help from therapists early in their marriage for individual and couples counseling which armed them to face and withstand challenges most relationships would not dare cross or survive. They helped each other work through issues from past childhood trauma, betrayals of the heart, instances of unemployment, loss of pregnancies, an open marriage – but none of these extenuating circumstances or personal choices were what brought their house down.
After decades of marriage, they decided to begin a formal process of separation, and are nobly in a place of forgiveness, compassion, and acceptance. This was hard-earned. They write about this unfolding and their discoveries, how they both inadvertently kept each other from realizing important personal goals, which unlocked for them only after they ended the marriage. They share their lessons of self-understanding. They articulate what it means to love in the now, forgiving, and letting go of each other while knowing the end of their future as a married couple is closing. The gray divorce presents uncertainties neither wishes to face, but undoubtedly brings a loss necessary to advance their personal growth and generate new possibilities for how the relationship might unfold from here.
Change is the only constant and we all must learn how to adapt each and every time we are faced with it. Even times when change comes not from unpredictable storms outside, as in the fluctuations in the global economy, geo-political upheaval, serious health issues, or devastation from extreme weather events, but from within the core of our selves, we must firmly answer that call to our higher souls' purpose in life, to cleave ourselves from unhealthy or stagnant patterns, and birth ourselves anew. As Barack Obama once said, We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. We have to hold ourselves 100% accountable for the situations we find ourselves in, and once we do, we will feel empowered to change our lives for the better.
This book started out as thought exercises to help Caritas and Albrecht sort out feelings around their final transition apart from each other. Hopefully it can help others who are going through similar life events, maybe save their relationships earlier. If not, the stories and messages in this book are for people wondering how they will survive the unknown if they decide to divorce late in life. Know that you will be okay. You are not alone.
